"Mom... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to do it."

What do you get when you combine an 11 year old, a BB gun, and a sleeping mom? A broken van window. Is it your own broken van window? No... it's your sweet, elderly neighbor's broken van window.

I was half-awake this morning and trying to go back to sleep when I heard a strange noise. I thought about getting up to see what it was, but decided that I could get in an extra 1/2 hour of sleep if I didn't sit up and look out my bedroom window. Just as I started to doze back into my wonderful land of oblivion, I heard my bedroom door being quietly cracked open. I opened my eyes to see Benjamin staring at me with huge eyes and tears spilling onto his cheeks.

"Mom... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to do it."

These are not words you want to hear from your child.

It turns out that Benjamin was bored and decided to occupy his time by getting his BB gun out. And using it. Without permission or supervision. Without safety glasses. Not in the backyard. Not aiming at the specified target.

No... he decided that he'd try shooting the leaves off the cherry tree. In the front yard. With the road right past the tree. With the dear, sweet neighbor's van right across the road.

This was one of those moments that parents hope they never have to deal with. But here it was and I was faced with a decision.

Was I to start yelling and nagging about rules and safety and responsibility? Or was I to help him clean up this mess (both literally and figuratively)?

I went with the latter. I held him as he sobbed with remorse and fear. When he finally calmed down we talked about what should happen next. He decided that he needed to talk to our neighbor before he did anything else. I was almost as nervous as he was. Fortunately (it gave us both time to calm down), our neighbor wasn't home. Benjamin sat down at the kitchen table and wrote a very nice letter explaining what happened and asking our neighbor to call him so that he could find out how much money it would cost to replace the window. He then went to her door and pinned the note where she couldn't miss it upon returning home.

The next thing to do was to call Dad. The tears started again. This time he was so distraught that I couldn't calm him down. He wasn't able to tell his dad what happened, so I broke the news. Lucky me.

We decided that Benjamin needed to go and clean up as much of the glass as possible before our neighbor returned. So off we went with a very large dust pan to put the glass in. As he started picking up the pieces of glass, I sat down near him and started helping. Benjamin seemed to be surprised that I was helping him instead of yelling at him. I explained that right now was not the time for lecturing. Right now was the time for getting this taken care of... the talking would come later.

As we were cleaning, the neighbor came home. She was very understanding. Having raised many children of her own, she had seen many a broken window. I was grateful for her attitude. She called her insurance company and found out the cost of the replacement. She has a $100 deductible. Michael and I will pay her tomorrow, but Benjamin doesn't know this. He will be spending the next few months worth of Saturdays working to earn money. At $5.00 per hour, that's a lot of work to be done. He will be taking the neighbor money as he earns it to pay for the window. She will thank him and then return the money to us (without him knowing).

My brother got into some trouble as a teenager for egging the car of a gentleman from church. My parents paid for the damage up front, but Shane had to face that man every Sunday and remember the consequences and severity of his actions every time he handed him money to go towards the total amount owed. This kind man would thank Shane and promptly hand the money over to my mom or dad.

Shane said that facing this man at church every Sunday was worse that the work he had to do to earn the money. Every time he had to give him money, Shane was reminded of his actions... and even more determined to not be so stupid again!

I pray that Benjamin will learn from this. That, as he faces our neighbor, he will learn (again and again and again) that every action has a consequence. And that part of life is learning to be accountable and responsible for your mistakes.

It has also been decided that Benjamin will not be using a BB gun, slingshot, bow and arrows, or any other "weapon", until he completes his hunter's safety course this summer.

I truly believe that the Lord blessed me today with patience and understanding. I believe that we handled this the right way... I pray that Benjamin (and our other children) learned enough from this incident to never do anything like this again.

I hope.